What needs to change to change situations?

Sometimes we come across such situations in life that are unpleasant and disturbing and no matter how hard we try, they do not change.

What needs to be done in such circumstances? What kind of action would bring about a change?

Well, every situation is designed specifically according to our learning needs. Therefore, if we are able to understand the design of a situation, we will be able to learn whatever we need to learn from it. Our learning is nothing but an evolution in thought leading to a change in our perception.

When a new perception emerges, it enables us to take a higher action that is more effective in dealing with the situation. Such an action has the power to bring us out of the difficult situation.

So now the question is how to understand the design of the situation and how to reach to the point of learning from it?

Well, you must have felt that whenever you go through a difficult situation it makes you feel trapped in a specific way. If you identify your trap, you will be able to identify what you need to learn.

So what is a trap?

A trap is a fear, limitation, or set of limitations in you that surface in a particular situation. In fact that situation is appearing in your life because you have that particular limitation in you. Your limitation itself is creating the situation in your life. So if you keep focusing on the way to come out of the situation, it will not do much to change the situation. However, if you identify your own limitation because of which the situation is arising, and if you overcome that limitation, the problem itself would not look like a problem anymore.

This can be more clearly understood with help of an example. Suppose you are stuck with a boss who is piling you with lot of work that is far in excess of being within reasonable limits. Such a situation would be unpleasant and disturbing for you and you will feel trapped. Also, you will feel that since he is your boss you will have to obey him. You might feel that it is your boss who is causing you the problem by being unreasonable. However, if you just slightly modify your way of looking at the situation, you will grow higher in life.

Instead of blaming the boss, if you ask yourself this question, “Why am I allowing my boss to do this to me?” then you will be able to identify your own limitation.

In this particular example, you may see that the reason your boss is able to do this to you is because you are unable to say “No” to him. Now if you ask another question to yourself, “what is the reason that I am unable to say “No” to him”, then you will be able to see your fears and beliefs that are not allowing you to assert yourself.

Once you identify your fears and beliefs, you need to overcome them. How do you do that?

For this you need to sit silently at a quiet place and do the following exercise:

1. Focus upon the pain that this fear or belief is causing you. Completely experience the pain. Once the pain is gone your fear will go and belief will also change.

2. Recognize the amount of suffering this fear and belief has caused in your life. Again experience the pain completely.


With this exercise your fear will go completely and this situation would no longer appear to be a problem to you. This would enable you to take the right action. This action will bring about the desired change in your situation. So go ahead, break the trap, and change your situation.